One hamburger = one portion - and don't let your parents tell you different!

I accompanied a friend (and client) to her parent's house last night. Her brother, age 50, is staying with her parents as he's been out of a job for two months, thought apparently he's been offered a job now and will start later this month.

That's not the point. The point is this guy is short, about 5 ft 5, and at least 200 pounds overweight. And apparently he's been working on that weight for 30 years (long standing overweight is always more difficult to get rid of then newly acquired weight, but it can be done.)

Anyway, it was a simple meal, hamburgers on buns, beans, onion rings - (and yes I pigged out on the Onion rings and blossom sauce, full of calories though they were.)

But what I thought was interesting, and a bit sad, was that everyone else - mom, dad, sister and me, guest - each received one hamburger. But the dad - who did the cooking on the grill - actually cooked two extra hamburgers for the son.

Who ate them.

Later on, in talking to my friend, she told me that that's the way it's been the entire time the guy has been staying there. The parents always cook "one" portion for themselves, and extra portions for the son, who most definitely does not need them.

They are enabling him.

And it's not like he wants the food, apparently. According to my friend, her brother has mentioned that he "should cut back"...yet he has apparently never mentioned this to the cooks in the household, or if he has they haven't paid attention.

The moral of this story is... don't cater to your children's appetites. (Even your grown children's.) Unless they have superfast metabolisms where they can eat everything and not gain a pound.

Kids typically don't eat as much as adults. Don't therefore give your kid an adult-sized portion, and then throw away half the food on his plate that he doesn't eat. After two years of doing this you're teaching him (or her) that waste is okay. At the very least, save the food on the plate and if the kid feels like a snack later on, have him eat the rest of the good on the plate, not a candy bar or a cookie. (And monitor the cookie/candy bar intake. If the kid stops at just one, that's fine...if he eats three - time to remove them from the house.)

Girls of course require special care, as many of them typically eat too little rather than not enough. Yes - even girls as early as 10 have been inculcated to believe that they must starve themselves so they don't gain an ounce of weight, otherwise they will be teased unmercifully for being fat (and indeed, probably will be. But, that's a rant for another blog and another time.)

So if you're an overweight individual on the other side of the spectrum - you are trying to lose weight but your parents - or spouse - keep piling the food on your plate, don't just suffer in silence. Tell them you're trying to lose weight and please not to cook so much food! It's a lot easier to lose weight if family and friends chip in to help you.